You have probably heard the old saying, “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” Wrong! It’s because words have such a powerful effect that we devise defenses against them. If words truly did not matter we wouldn’t put as much emphasis on the power of words.
Negative Words are Damaging
Negative words can be more damaging than a stick or stone breaking a bone. A broken bone will heal within a few months, but a damaging word can cause pain for a lifetime. Think about the young man that was continually told he was going to be like his sorry no good father.
After hearing these damaging words day after day, year after year he begins to believe them. When he grows up he becomes a living testimony of the very words that were spoken over his life.
Think about the young woman that was constantly told she was ugly and no man would ever want her. Hearing these negative words infiltrates her thinking and it results in her believing the lie. She begins to give herself over to any man that approaches her with enticing words.
Her self-esteem and confidence has been deflated because of the degrading words spoken into her life. I can give story after story of the devastating effect negative spoken words can have in a person’s life.
“The Five Heartbeats”
One of my best stories that illustrate the power of the spoken word was in my favorite movie, “The Five Heartbeats.” In a scene early in the movie, Eddie Kane, Jr. was talking to his father about his singing aspirations. During their conversation his father made what I thought was a very damaging statement.
Eddie was sharing with his father his desire to become a famous singer and his father commented by saying, “I wasn’t nothing so you will never be nothing.” He said more seasoned words than I used, but you get the point.
In the movie Eddie became the famous lead singer of The Five Heartbeats. The fame and fortune would soon become Eddie’s Achilles heel and eventually cause him to venture down the wrong road. He went down the dark, unforgiving road of alcohol and drug abuse.
He forfeited his fame, fortune and family for perceived pleasures. I believe the power of his father’s earlier spoken words had a drastic impact on the way Eddie Kane, Jr. turned out.
I know that this is a movie played by actors, but in real life there are millions of individuals that are living defeated lives because of the damaging words spoken over their lives. They have allowed the negative words to keep them in a perpetual hostage mentality. They believed the detrimental lies of the enemy and thus live life void of God’s vision.
The Power of Encouragement
What if we decide to season our talk with positive and encouraging words? What if we decide to permanently close our ears to others negative and pessimistic spoken words and tune into what God has to say about who we are and what we can do? What if we stop believing the curse words of the enemy and start believing the elevating Word of God?
I suggest that you read God’s Word for empowerment, listen to empowering messages, read inspiring blogs and books and surround yourself with people that will encourage you to achieve better.
At the end of the Five Heartbeats, Eddie Kane Jr. was restored. One of the former group members, Choir Boy, encouraged him by letting him know that God could change his life. Choir boy took it upon himself to go after his friend. He knew God could take a shattered life that was in a million pieces and put him back together again better than ever.
At the end of the movie we see Eddie singing in the church choir, his family was restored and he was overcoming his alcohol and drug addictions. The power of encouragement can do wonders in the life of an individual. Eddie Kane Jr. went from on top of the world, to the valley, to restoration.
I definitely know sticks and stones will break bones, but I believe the power of encouraging and empowering words can change a person’s life. When our spoken words are seasoned with God’s life changing Word we will see self-esteem rise, the suicide rate plummet, discouragement transformed to encouragement, peace of mind overshadow depression and defeat turned into victory.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
Question: How has the power of words affected your life in a positive and negative way? Leave a comment below.
floyd says
The words of loved ones are so important. The foundation built upon God and shared by our loved ones in Truth is a life changing action. I’ve heard some pretty ugly things about me and what I could or would be, but none of it mattered to me because I had the real Truth shared with me since I could talk. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Good word, Bernard.
Bernard Haynes says
Thanks for commenting Floyd. That last statement says it all. “If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Barb Raveling says
Words of encouragement from others have helped me so much since I started writing. When people are down or discouraged, I think words of encouragement help more than ever.
Bernard Haynes says
You are correct Barb. I really appreciate the words of encouragement you have given me.
Lawrence Namale says
Bernard, there are loads of pages I could write about how negatively words have affected me (especially from people in authority over our lives). In fact, I have a full manuscript of a book on how parents ought to ‘bless’ their children (am grateful you used a dad-son relationship in the movie example).
What I can share in loads of pages too is how positively words have impacted my life…especially words that I have carefully selected and used daily over my own life. There is power in others praising and encouraging you…but there is atomic power in positive words you speak over yourself.
This is a timeless post, thanks for writing Bernard.
Bernard Haynes says
Thanks for commenting, Lawrence. I see so many people who do not live up to their potential because of the negative impact of words spoken over their lives. I make it a point to speak positive words over my life, wife and sons life. It is important because we live in such a negative world.
Bernard Haynes says
Great point, Rich. Our worth should be in who the creator says we are and not who the creation say we are.
Bernard Haynes says
Dave, you have to check out the movie. It is my favorite movie of all time. I need to check out Eph 4:29.
Caleb says
In times of discouragement my wife’s positive words to me have made a world of difference and helped me move on and pull away from the things that were getting me down.
Bernard Haynes says
Nothing like the encouraging words from your spouse.
TCAvey says
My dad was BIG on watching what you say. There are times when I say something or am about to I can see my father and I know that he wouldn’t approve. We can’t take our words back. I’ve never regretting being kind but I sure have regretting using my mouth to hurt others.
Great post.
Bernard Haynes says
Your father sounds like he was a very wise man. I am learning not to just haphazardly say things because our words have power and you can’t take back what you say.
TCAvey says
He made many mistakes 🙂 but his heart always returned to God. That’s another lesson I’m learning from him. I love that God still uses my dad to teach me.
Loren Pinilis says
I can think back to middle school and positive things that my teachers or friends said. It has still stuck with me. So I know that it can make a dramatic difference in the way that people think and the way that people act.
I’m also conscious of this fact with my kids. I never know when a careless word that I forget about in 10 seconds will be one that sticks with them forever.
Bernard Haynes says
Loren, you are so right. I remember the powerful encouraging words my basketball coach spoke into my life over 25 years ago. Those words still resonate with me.
Dan Black says
It’s true that our words have the power of life or death in them. Great reminder post!
Bernard Haynes says
Dan, thanks for commenting. I words do have the power of life and death.
twinkle says
hmm really negative words makes the life worst…even though it is like a simple word…. bt that small sentence makes the living very difficult..
i have experienced it badly…
but as collected encouraging words from people…learned about positive thinking…it changed my way of thinking to better extent…:)
thanks for reminding me again…
Bernard Haynes says
Thanks for commenting. Words have power. I am glad you got around people who will encourage because discouraging people will hinder your life progress.