“Then the Lord answered me and said, write the vision…” Habakkuk 2:2
I decided to write another post celebrating marriage. This weekend my wife and I will celebrate seventeen years of marriage. It has been a challenge at times, but a rewarding journey.
Our Wedding Day
I remember our wedding day as if it was yesterday. I will never forget the vows that we consented to that day before God and about three hundred witnesses. We said that we would take this person to be my wife or husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish, forsaking all others until we are parted by death as God is our witness, we gave our promise.
What a day that was! Many of you can attest that when you think back your wedding day was an incredible event. The whole day was special in anticipation of your new future together. This was the beginning of our life long journey together.
We were ready for this wonderful experience, so we thought. We were not properly warned about the challenges and how to handle them in marriage. They forgot to tell us the difficulty of bringing two different people with two different backgrounds and mind sets to a marriage with the intentions of becoming one flesh.
Our Discovery
Dana and I figured out real quickly that it takes more than having a beautiful wedding, repeating poetic marriage vows, receiving wonderful gifts and boasting a large guest list of family and friends. We realized that it was going to take faith in God, active communication, true commitment, unconditional love and motivated consistency. It has taken all of these and more to make our marriage work.
We believe, if someone would have told us seventeen years ago about the importance of having a written marriage vision it would have spared us a lot of confusion and frustration. Three years ago we decided to implement a marriage vision that would affect every area of our life together.
We dedicated quality time in prayer together seeking God’s direction, defining our marriage values and discussing our desires for the future. Today, we have the Haynes Marriage Vision Statement framed and in a prominent place in our home.
The Power of a Marriage Vision
Do not get me wrong just because we have a vision statement does not mean everything has happened the way we want it or when we wanted it. We have encountered some tremendous triumphs and some gut wrenching defeats. We have dealt with some great highs and some woeful lows. We have seen some dreams realized and some dreams die.
We believe that everything we have gone through, currently going through or about to go through, we can overcome because we are united by love and led by God’s vision. My advice to any one that is reading this, please sit down with your spouse and begin the process of developing a written marriage vision statement.
Your marriage vision will become your GPS that gives you the correct directions and coordinates to follow. It will empower you and your spouse with the inspiration and motivation you need to make the right turns to move your marriage forward. Trust me, your marriage vision will expand your thinking, increase your sight and elevate your walk. Get ready to take hold of your marriage vision and impact your world!
Question: Why is important for you and your spouse to have a marriage vision? Leave a comment below.
Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/julep67/1321386615/
Ngina Otiende says
Bernard, congratulations on your wedding anniversary!
I am reading this and thinking how great it would be for engaged couples to begin to work on their marriage vision, before the wedding. It’s so important to begin to define marriage values and desires for the future early. Great insights here!
Bernard Haynes says
Ngina, thanks for commenting. One of the things my wife and I teach pre-marital couples is to work on a marriage vision. To be honest a lot of couple don’t do it because it takes commitment and consistency to make it happen.
Lathyra Tinker says
Thank you for such an amazing article. I am presently engaged and this is something that my fiancé and I have done during this process. With less than 100 days away from “I do” we consistently define our values as a unit and encourage other young couples to do the same. It is our mission to empower other young couple like ourselves under the age of 35 to implement a marriage vision as early as the engagement or even courtship. Since implementing our vision we feel such an unexplainable motivation to fulfill the purpose of marriage. God bless you for this generous amount of wisdom that was a confirmation and encouragement that we are on the right track.
Yours committing,
Lathyra(2015 Bride To Be)
kimanzi constable says
Got to have a plan for where you want to go or you’ll just be standing still, you’re absolutely spot on!
Bernard Haynes says
Been there, done that. I have the failed dreams because of no vision plan.
Barb Raveling says
This sounds like an interesting idea,Bernard. What kind of things would you put in a marriage vision statement? Is is similar to a regular vision statement? We have been married 31 years now. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long!
Bernard Haynes says
Thanks for asking Barb. Our vision statement consist of our marriage scripture, purpose statement, nine prioritize core values, a one or two sentence future statement for 7 areas of life and a conclusion statement. We have our vision statement on one sheet that we framed and placed in our home. Everyone that comes in our house sees the vision for our marriage and home. Just like a business has a posted vision for the world to see, we have a posted vision for the world to see where we are going. Congrats on 31 years of marriage. I know you have some war and victory stories that you can share with couples that will bless their marriages.
Barb Raveling says
Thanks for explaining it, Bernard. That sounds like a great document! What a good idea to think about all those things together and make a decision about what you want to focus on.
Loren Pinilis says
Great question, Barb – and thanks for answering, Bernard. I was wondering the same.
Loren Pinilis says
I’ve heard a lot about the power of a joint mission to keep a couple together. This is a great practical step to really live that out.
Bernard Haynes says
It is working great for our marriage. We still hit obstacles, but we work together to overcome them.
Marie Mertilus says
I completely agree with you Bernard. The first time I heard of marriage vision was from Michael Hyatt. Working together and having a common purpose have really helped marriage. Great post.
Bernard Haynes says
Thanks Marie. It has done wonders in our marriage. We teach this concept to couples we lead in premarital classes and couples we coach. I read your profile in 48days and it said you live in Douglasville, GA. We live in Douglasville. You have some good stuff on your site.